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7 Solutions That Can Help You How they solved it: Both Jehan and Seth were used to taking charge of their own finances before they married two years ago. Since then, Jehan has taken the lead part because Seth already has a full plate helping his disabled mother and sister manage their money and partly because she grown attached to the role. realized I was doing all the right things and that I would have had trouble handing that control over, Jehan says. I like knowing what going on, and I feel confident when managing our household finances. say: One spouse is usually more interested in tackling financial tasks or has more time to do so. And that fine. Just make sure you both agree on who should handle what money chores, such as paying bills, and make the bigger decisions together so no one is single handedly setting the family goals. For Seth, the current arrangement is working well: wife really likes doing the finances she better at it than I am.How they solved it: Astrid and Fred take home roughly the same salary and split all household expenses down the middle. Each pays half from a separate checking account, and they also have separate savings and investment accounts. we lived together before we got married, everything was separate and that was acceptable, and now we need to revisit the matter, says Astrid. She is working on persuading Fred to open some joint accounts to pay for household expenses and handle their investments, to make transactions easier and make them feel more like a unit. all of our finances completely separate has become a source of contention. say: A mine, and ours system of money management often works best for couples. Having joint checking and savings accounts for expenses you incur and goals you like to achieve as a household makes it easier to pay bills, see where your money is going, and plan together helps make a couple feel they working as a team. wife is a budget person. I am not, Karl says. Taking the course helped the couple to realize that paying off debt was their top priority and to craft a plan to reach that goal, primarily by cutting back on spending. Now that Karl a convert, he been adhering more closely to their budget. don have as many disagreements about where we going to spend our money, says Lucinda. Their only regret? Says Karl: wish we done this 30 years ago. say: Are you and your spouse arguing in circles about money? Ask for help. Roopal saw things differently. because I go out and earn the money doesn mean he not playing an important role in the family and that he doesn have just as much a right to voice concerns about various expenses. Now the pair discuss financial decisions together, and John says each year these conversations get easier to have.Experts say: Acknowledge and appreciate what each of you contributes to the household, even if one of those roles doesn carry a monetary value. Higher earners should empower their spouses to feel like equal contributors in the relationship, and not let their income justify a power imbalance.Professions: Project coordinator for civil engineering firm, commercial manager for energy companyHow they solved it: For their eight years of marriage, Shaun is been the household primary money manager and, as the higher earner, has paid for the larger expenses. He dutifully tracks those bills as well as their spending in a spreadsheet often pushes Melissa to be frugal. I want to spend my money on something he thinks is frivolous, he encourages me to be more careful, and we have a discussion about whether I really need to buy that item, says Melissa. To limit such discussions and prevent arguments about her purchases, Melissa has set herself a max spending limit of $200 per item and pays for extraneous items with money from her own separate account.Experts say: Give your relationship some financial freedom by agreeing on a monthly amount each of you can spend on whatever you want, no questions asked.Professions: IT for healthcare company, client service for life insurance businessHow they solved it: About a year ago Rich position was reduced from full to part time, and his salary was cut commensurately. The shift has actually worked well in terms of the couple child care needs have two daughters, 4 months and 3 years old Rich worried that Claudia would be unhappy reining in their comfortable lifestyle. don need a lot of extras, but I was worried that cutting back on things like eating out and Together classes for our older daughter might mean more to her, Rich says. When he and Claudia drafted a new budget, Rich realized the lifestyle changes didn bother her as much as he thought they would. been really great about our situation, he says, hasn pressured me to go out and earn more. say: We often misjudge what financial goals matter most to our spouses. Both sexes tend to overestimate their spouse desire for a certain kind of lifestyle, while underestimating how much importance they attach to, say, having adequate emergency savings or paying off debt. To figure out what really matters to you and your partner, separately jot down a list of your top near and long term goals, then compare lists to guide you to your top priorities.Professions: IT manager, manager of hospital patient financial servicesHow they solved it: disagree sometimes about where we spending money, says Nick, who wants to use extra funds on home improvements, while Erica would prefer to use some discretionary income on fun. thinks it may be more worthwhile to spend money on a date night, says Nick. appreciate what that does for our relationship, but it doesn keep the roof from leaking. The pair are in the process of deciding how to optimize their saving so they can satisfy both desires, instead of making the goals an either or proposition.Experts say: We tend to marry our financial opposite often marry spenders, for example can make it challenging to see the value in what your partner wants to do with your money. Head off friction by working off facts, not assumptions. In this case, the first step would be to run the numbers and assess whether an occasional date night would really interfere with the ability to make essential repairs to the house. If it would, frame the discussion around how you can change financial habits to meet both goals, instead of focusing on what problematic about your spouse financial behavior.